Marriage > Dating

I vow to help you love life, to always hold you with tenderness and to have the patience that love demands, to speak when words are needed and to share the silence when they are not […] I vow to fiercely love you in all your forms, now and forever. I promise to never forget that this is a once in a lifetime love. And to always know in the deepest part of my soul that no matter what challenges might carry us apart, we will always find our way back to each other. 

- The Vow

Adam and I decided to get married soon after we started dating. We made plans before he even proposed. I'd always intended to elope - call me selfish but the thought of having a wedding without my father there depressed me. I honored him in my own way - we were married on my parents' anniversary. We spent Tuesday, August 27, 2013 parasailing, lounging by the pool, and talking about the life we would have together. I wore a dress off the David's Bridal rack and my groom wore shorts & a button-down. I had my something old (dad's lucky coin, sewn into my flowers), new (dress), borrowed (grandmother's ring), and blue (Swarovski crystal toe ring). My longtime friend, who is a minister, walked me onto the beach and I promised Adam I would love, honor, and cherish him until death do us part.

I'm not any less married than someone who spent tens of thousands of dollars and months of their life stressing over colors, seating charts, music, and what to feed the gluten-free guests. I never particularly cared about being engaged - being married to my soul mate was all I wanted. My rings, while gorgeous, are just a symbol. Marriage is more than jewelry and a party.

I see a lot of girls demanding extravagant rings and luxurious weddings. I just don't see the point. I'd have married my husband anywhere, with any ring. Your wedding day should not be the best or most important day of your life. Today is the most important day of my life. Every day spent married to this man is the best day I've ever had. August 27, 2013 was just the beginning. 

There's a reason we never got to this point with anyone else. We are meant to be.

We are soul mates.

Love You Long Time

“I only wish that I had met you sooner, so that I could love you longer.” 

Beautiful sentiment. In theory, 100% true. In practice…maybe not so much.

I was 28 when I met my husband, and he was 31. We both had all-too-typical 20s: too much partying, lots of mistakes, and that one long crazy relationship that makes your friends and family want to shake you like a rag doll and scream “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING” in your face. 

There’s a reason God never had us cross paths sooner. We were meant to meet each other as adults. At 22, I would have had zero interest in him before last call, and at 25, he would’ve probably chased my tail and called it a day when I didn’t return his phone calls. (Ok, I was kind of a bitch.) At 28, I was ready to settle down. At 31, so was he.

I’d never say we don’t fight – of course we do. However, our relationship has basically been smooth sailing from Day 1. No cheating, no break-ups, no constant turmoil and chaos like we experienced in our 20s. We went on dates as opposed to starting out just “hooking up.” We took our time (well, relatively speaking. We did get married after just 9 months but I digress.) There was never any question as to whether we wanted to be together, and we were ready to make that commitment. A relationship that thrives on drama is not a healthy relationship. You want to be with someone who brings out the best in you, not someone who turns you into a crazy, insecure hot mess. I’ve never questioned Adam’s feelings, or wondered if this is where I’m supposed to be. There’s none of that nagging insecurity present in so many relationships. When I see couples drowning in a relationship born out of chaos, or going through the break up-make up cycle, I cringe. Stop! Just walk away. Soulmates don’t lie, steal, cheat, break up multiple times. They don’t fight every time she has too much to drink or he falls asleep without texting. They certainly don’t begin when one is in another relationship. Know your worth, walk away, stop settling for less than amazing.

You may wait longer than you ever expected, but it's so worth it. In the end, we still have forever, from this life to the next.