Kickin It Old School

The family is one of nature's masterpieces. - George Santayana

Despite all the insanity in my early (ok, and mid) twenties, I've always been old-fashioned. My jokes about wishing I was "barefoot pregnant and in the kitchen" weren't actually jokes. I'm so enamored with motherhood I literally chose it for a career.
That being said, I NEVER wanted to have a child with someone I wasn't married to. Sad that at 26, people seemed surprised that I didn't have any children, despite my unmarried status. An employer (a hypocritical Christian attorney with 7 kids and a penchant for kissing his associate after too many drinks but I digress) once asked me why I didn't have any kids and my answer was, "I want a father and husband, not a baby daddy." I somehow impressed him with that answer.

It's an unpopular opinion these days. Suddenly I'm 'judging single moms' and 'pissed off I don't have kids.' Calm your britches, ladies. What's so wrong with believing in the traditional family structure? What's wrong with believing people should be adult enough to make a commitment to each other before they commit to bringing a life into this world and raising him or her together?

If we hear a 20 year old girl is having a baby, we might agree she's irresponsible but then we congratulate her, throw her a baby shower and don't think twice. Babies are blessings!
If a 20 year old girl is getting married…stop the presses. We tell her she's making a mistake. She's throwing her life away, there's no way she's ready for that kind of commitment.
Am I the only one who sees the problem here?!
No shame in believing that people should commit to each other, before committing to another person together. None here, anyway. If and when we DECIDE to have kids - it will be a purposeful decision two prospective parents come to, together.

*zero hate on, well, anyone, but definitely not single moms. Sometimes shitty shit happens, I know that.

Remember When

One of the ways we keep the "honeymoon period" alive is...keep the honeymoon alive! That goes beyond date nights and making out in corners and lunchbox love notes. It means constant recognition of the fact that this is a once in a lifetime love. 

I found this idea on Pinterest, I think.. After the new year in 2014, Adam and I started a ritual. On Tuesdays, we did our "Tuesday thing." We'd write down favorite memory, special moment, anything important to us (individually) from the last week. And we put them in a box. 

It was an ugly box. A shoebox. I taped it shut, because I wanted to peek SO badly. Our kitties stomped all over our poor box and made it even uglier.

 

Someone used it as a launching pad &… Oh well. It's what's inside that counts! Tomorrow we'll open the box and remember 2014, one moment at a time.

We decided that for next year, we'd make a keepsake box with a bit more longevity. Off to my favorite place, the craft store! Adam painted the plain wooden box, and I got stencils & paint markers to personalize it. It's a little rough, but it's ours. Next year, on New Year's Day, we'll open this box & read the notes together again. What a beautiful way to start the year :) 

Happy New Year! SO much to look forward to in 2015! 

EDIT: We actually opened the box after midnight on NYE. It was amazing! We laughed and cried and relived so much of the last year. Marrieds, do this! You won't regret it. 

Pajama Party

Christmas Day is a huge deal with my family. We nicknamed my mom "Captain Christmas." Every year on Black Friday, we'd decorate my parents HUGE house. Tons of lights and at it's best, 27 - yes, 27! - inflatables decorating the yard. It was one of those houses people brought their kids and lovers to see. My dad LOVED it.

In early December 2011, the house stood stark and un-festive. Without my dad, no one had the heart or strength to get Christmas Wonderland going. Until one weekend. The neighbors showed up with their kids. They knew why the house lay bare. With their help - people we barely knew - we did a pretty good job bringing Christmas back to the 108. Their kindness still brings me to tears.

In the following week, many people contacted me to tell me how happy they were to see The Ponderosa decked out in holiday gear once again. My heart grew three sizes, for sure.
The following year, in the fall of 2012, we said goodbye to my childhood home. 5,000 square feet is too much for one woman drowning in loneliness, and years of happy memories were forever tarnished by my father dying there.
Christmas that year was different. "Crammed" into mom's new "tiny" townhouse (2,000 square feet plus a finished walk-out basement - some downsize! Lol!) and some family fall-outs meant fewer people in this strange new place. Perfect time to introduce my new boyfriend to the family, right? HA!
*oh yeah. So Christmas Day. We have this tradition. Everyone wears pajamas. We're there to eat, relax, play games, laugh. We do it in comfort! Over the years, typically my sister and I have worn matching jammies. We started including my mom with this too. It's just a fun thing we do, yes it's corny but it's us. One year an aunt actually wore a replica of the bunny suit from A Christmas Story. Cute!
So Christmas 2012, mom Jen & I have on our matching jammies. Adam shows up after work and heads upstairs to change. He joins us downstairs for Bingo…

He was a HIT! My family loved this silly man. He fit right in. It was a tough holiday for us all, so much change, and he joined in, lightened the mood, broke the tension, and melted everyone's heart. I was asked to bring him back the next year, no matter what - little did anyone know we'd be back the next year in our own matching clothes as Mr. & Mrs.

That day, December 25, 2012, I knew it was love. I remember the moment it hit me - I love him. I'm keeping him forever.

My hero.